yeah, it hurts. when your friends never  appreciate your existence. never appreciate your words. your kindness. your helped. your everything. it seems like nothing. you did nothing before. it kills me inside. i felt like crying. i'm just like a piece of shit. to them, i'm just a hopeless friend, helpless, i can't do nothing. lazy. and all the negativity is me. i hope that i can disappear from this place. i wanna go to a new place, where i can find new friends, new people, new environment, new surrounding, new fresh air and new everything. i hope so.. my heart is dying right here. i felt dumb. i just wanna leave.